Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
