I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
