3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
