It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
