I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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