To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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