I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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