she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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