Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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