SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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