I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I need moral support for this bender
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
