You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
