i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
