So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
