What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
he puts the penis in happiness.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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