I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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