you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize