Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
