so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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