I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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