Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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