Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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