Swine flu. Run for my life!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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