i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need a burrito and a hug.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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