I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
