who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Randomize
