Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The air was thick with penises
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
