so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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