Your dad touched me again.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
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Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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