This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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