i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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