We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
