why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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