Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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