dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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