Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
