I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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