would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
