There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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