So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
