I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
