He kissed a someone with a penis
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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