marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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