Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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