I didn't shave. On purpose
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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