As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize