Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
