Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
