we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
