It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
