Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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