Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
