Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
honey bunches of taint.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
