You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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