she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
