dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I cannot find my penis.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You made out with two different species that night
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
