So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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