first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
