Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
