just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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