I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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