If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
