he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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