i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize