Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
