I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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