I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
