What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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