I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
