Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
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I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
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I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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